J Rose

Are you in a healthy relationship? If not, what's missing?

If you are in a relationship, hopefully you and your significant other are equally committed in making it a healthy and loving experience. Your relationship should involve mutual respect and common goals and needs from the other. Pleasing your partner should be more important than pleasing oneself, and seeing them smile is all it takes to make you smile. This, of course, comes more easily in the beginning of a relationship, and becomes harder as time goes by.

Relationships have their ups and downs, but only healthy relationships survive the cool and hot turns love entails, The hard thing is nothing when you are actually in a bad relationship. When it isn't just a bad week, but an actual foundational flaw. According to TeenHealth, if you are in a rocky relationship you need to step back and think whether the following seven healthy relationship qualities are present:

Mutual respect - Does he or she get how cool you are and why?...The key is that your BF or GF is into you for who you are — for your great sense of humor, your love of reality TV, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands — and would never challenge — the other person's boundaries.
Trust - You're flirting with a guy/girl and your boyfriend/girlfriend walks by. Does he/she completely lose his/her cool or keep walking because he/she knows you'd never cheat on him/her? It's OK to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.
Honesty - This one goes hand-in-hand with trust because it's tough to trust someone when one of you isn't being honest. Have you ever caught your girlfriend in a major lie? Like she told you that she had to work on Friday night but it turned out she was at the movies with her friends? The next time she says she has to work, you'll have a lot more trouble believing her and the trust will be on shaky ground.
Support - It's not just in bad times that your partner should support you. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart but can't take being there when things are going right (and vice versa). In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when you find out your parents are getting divorced and to celebrate with you when you get the lead in a play.
Fairness/equality - You need to have give-and-take in your relationship, too. Do you take turns choosing which new movie to see? As a couple, do you hang out with your partner's friends as often as you hang out with yours? It's not like you have to keep a running count and make sure things are exactly even, of course. But you'll know if it isn't a pretty fair balance. Things get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way all the time.
Separate Identities - In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that doesn't mean you should feel like you're losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn't change. Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don't, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities you love. And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.
Good communication - You've probably heard lots of stuff about how men and women don't seem to speak the same language. We all know how many different meanings the little phrase "no, nothing's wrong" can have, depending on who's saying it! But what's important is to ask if you're not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided in the first place. Never keep a feeling bottled up because you're afraid it's not what your BF or GF wants to hear or because you worry about sounding silly. And if you need some time to think something through before you're ready to talk about it, the right person will give you some space to do that if you ask for it.

Take a step back and evaluate you relationship along these seven qualities. Are you in a healthy relationship? If not, which quality or qualities (list in comments) are missing?

J Rose

Federal Budget: Should the Military Budget and Defense Spending be Cut?

A	Yes. In an attempt to balance the Federal Budget, Military Spending should be cut.

B	No. We should never make cuts to the Defense Budget.

C	Maybe. After making cuts to other programs, such as entitlements, we can consider making cuts in Military Spending if it is required to help balance the Federal Budget Deficit.

US Military Spending is estimated to reach $966 billion in 2011, this is nearly 3x's the 2001 Military budget of $377 billion. The current political climate in Washington D.C. seems to be focused on cutting the US Federal Budget, however, nobody seems to be suggesting any cuts to the Military Budget. In Can We Cut "Defense" Spending?, Thomas Eddlem argues for cutting defense spending because "U.S. “defense” spending today has all of the hallmarks of every other out-of-control big-government program. For example, nobody can say for sure precisely how much the United States spends on defense, and nobody can say for sure how many bases the U.S. government has abroad."

Bill Kristol, AEI's, Arthur Brooks, and The Heritage Foundation's, Ed Feulner, disagree with cutting the military budget. In the article 'Peace Doesn't Keep Itself' for The Weekly Standard, the three argue:

We should be vigilant against waste in every corner of the budget. But anyone seeking to restore our fiscal health should look at entitlements first, not across-the-board cuts aimed at our men and women in uniform.

Furthermore, military spending is not a net drain on our economy. It is unrealistic to imagine a return to long-term prosperity if we face instability around the globe because of a hollowed-out U.S. military lacking the size and strength to defend American interests around the world.

Global prosperity requires commerce and trade, and this requires peace. But the peace does not keep itself. The Global Trends 2025 report, which reflects the consensus of the U.S. intelligence community, anticipates the rise of new powers—some hostile—and projects a demand for continued American military power. Meanwhile we face many nonstate threats such as terrorism, and piracy in sea lanes around the world. Strength, not weakness, brings the true peace dividend in a global economy.

Graph of Military Spending FY 2000 to FY 2020

After considering the issue, Should the Military Budget and Defense Spending be Cut?

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10.

J Rose

NFL Players vs NFL Owners, WhosRight?

A	The NFL Players are Right. Their demands are reasonable while the NFL Owners are greedy.

B	The NFL Owners are Right. The CBA needs to be adjusted because it currently too heavily favors the players. The NFL Playrs are being greedy.

C	Neither the NFL Owners nor the NFL Players are Right. Both sides need to come to the table and make some sacrifices to make sure we don't lose the 2011 NFL Football Season.

The reason there is a threat of an NFL Lockout is because the NFL Players Association (VFLPA) and the NFL Owners are currently disagreeing over the current Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA). A CBA is the agreement reached between a union and its employers after negotiations that typically include number of hours worked, wages, health benefits, vacation, and other topics associated with an employee/employer agreement.

According to The Faster Times article, NFL Lockout: What is a CBA, in "the NFL, the CBA regulates player salaries, free agency, trade rules, franchise tags, player conduct, game schedules, the playoff system, roster sizes, the draft process, the injured reserve list, and just about everything else. If there is any kind of agreement between a player and a team, including when or where they play, it is regulated by the CBA."

What the Current CBA Includes

Team Revenue Sharing System - the 17 poorest teams are subsidized by the wealthiest 15 teams
Owners get one billion dollars off the top as an Investment Fund for updating facilities, stadium costs, etc.
The remaining money is split 60-40 with the players getting the larger chunk
This gives 53% of the NFL's total revenue to the players

What the NFL Players Want

The players would like to keep the current CBA for many years to come, however, they are willing to agree to the following changes:

Accept a 50-50 split of the revenue
Eliminate the one billion off the top the owners are given for the investment fund

The owners can still apply to get money to cover expenses, however, guaranteed money will not be available

A better pension system to take care of retired players and their medical expenses
They agree to an NBA-Style "slotted" system making the salary of a rookie solely determined by where he is drafted

In the players eyes, this would free money up for the older players to be paid more

The players oppose an 18-Game NFL Regular Season for two reasons

Concerned about injuries
No additional pay for the two extra games players would be forced to play

What the NFL Owners Want

The owners would like to change the current CBA in the following ways:

How the NFL Owners and Players share the revenue

The owners want $2 billion off of the top for the Investment Fund
Then, keeping the current 60-40 split of remaining revenue
This would give the owners approximately 53% of the total revenue

Some owners would like to change the Team Revenue Sharing System arguing the system doesn't take expenses into account when revenue is shared.
Eliminating two Preseason Games
The owners want and are pushing for an 18-Game NFL Regular Season
NBA-style "slotted" system for Rookie Contracts that assigns a salary according to draft position.

Basically, the owners are trying to get a larger share of the revenue than the players and want the players to play 2 extra games without adjusting their salaries. The players are willing to give the owners a few of their demands but not all of them. One of the two is being greedy, but who is it?

NFL Players vs NFL Owners, WhosRight?

Will there be an NFL lockout?

A	The players and owners will be able to work things out and avoid an NFL lockout.

B	The players and owners will not be able to work things out and we'll have an NFL Lockout.

Recently, the National Football League Players Association (NFLPA) and the NFL Owners agreed to a 7 day extension of the current Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA). The CBA is at the center of the NFL Labor Talks, and the NFL Owners are willing to lock out the NFL players and risk jeopardizing the 2011-12 NFL Season.

The dispute is basically this: the players want to keep the current CBA and the owners would like to change it. In order for there to be a football season next year, the two sides have to agree on a new Collective Bargaining Agreement or to extend this one. If not, we will have an NFL lock out and no football season.

Will the owners and players in the NFL be able to work it out or will there be an NFL lockout?

Did the Oregon Ducks Cheat?

A	The Oregon Ducks are cheaters regardless of whether the NCAA says they broke the rules. What they did was shady and shouldn't be allowed.

B	The Oregon Ducks are not cheaters and simply played the game by the rules as they were written.

C	I am not sure. It will depend on whether the amount they paid was due to the signing of Lache Seastrunk or LaMichael James

D	The Oregon Ducks cheated and the NCAA will punish them for breaking the rules.

The NCAA is investigating the Oregon Ducks Football Program in regards to a payment made to Will Lyles in the amount of $25,000. The spokesman for the University, Dave Willford, confirmed the school made the payment to Lyles of Complete Scouting Services in Houston. Oregon argues the payment was within the NCAA RULES. In a statement, the University said it "is something we remain confident that is within the acceptable guidelines allowed by the NCAA and occurred with the knowledge of the department's compliance office," which seems to be true.

The media alleged NCAA violation is Oregon paid Lyles to help him influence Heisman Trophy Candidate, LaMichael James, and Lache Seastrunk choose the Ducks during the recruitment process. For more details on the the exact allegations see the ESPN videos provided.

The CBS Sports article Oregon Cheated without Breaking a Rule, explains:

"there's a difference between breaking a rule -- or not breaking a rule, in Oregon's case -- and cheating. One is black-and-white. The NCAA has a massive rulebook, and if the rulebook allows for schools to subscribe to a recruiting service, then a school that subscribes to a recruiting service has broken no rules. That's Oregon.

But cheating isn't as easily defined. It resides in the gray area where the best coaches make their hay. They find a way to exploit an unwritten rule, or even a written rule in the NCAA's massive rulebook, and they use what they've discovered to gain an unethical advantage on other schools."

The NCAA will decide whether the Ducks broke any rules, but how do you perceive what the ducks have done?Is the Oregon Ducks Football Team Guilty of Cheating?

Updated 7/1/2011

In the article Scout details relationship with Oregon, Kelly, the yahoo website Rivals.com provides a pretty damning interview with Lyles. The following is a few quotes from the article:

"In a wide-ranging, multi-day interview, Lyles said Kelly scrambled in late February and asked Lyles to submit retroactive player profiles to justify the $25,000 payment to his company just days before the transaction was revealed in a March 3 Yahoo! Sports report."
"Lyles insists Oregon did not make a direct request or payment to steer recruits to Eugene. However, he now says Oregon did not pay him for his work as a traditional scout, but for his influence with top recruits and their families and his ability to usher prospects through the signing and eligibility process."
“I look back at it now and they paid for what they saw as my access and influence with recruits”
“The service I provided went beyond what a scouting service should … I made a mistake and I’m big enough of a man to admit I was wrong.”
"Lyles said Oregon’s assistant director of football operations, Josh Gibson, had direct knowledge – and played an ancillary role – in Lyles helping Temple (Texas) High School star Lache Seastrunk petition to have his grandmother, rather than his mother, sign his national letter of intent with the Ducks in February 2010. Seastrunk’s mother, who expressed opposition to her son about attending Oregon, otherwise could have blocked the signing."
“Indirectly I played a pivotal role in [Seastrunk signing with Oregon],” Lyles said
“Lache came to me and said his mother was threatening him, saying she wouldn’t sign his letter of intent unless he went to the school she told him to go to,” Lyles said. “He was worried about it because he wasn’t of age to sign the letter of intent himself. He wanted to find out how he could get his grandmother to sign the letter of intent instead of his mother, because his grandmother is the one that raised him in the first place.”
Lyles’ intimate involvement with Seastrunk’s letter of intent came just weeks after Kelly and Oregon agreed to be Complete Scouting Service’s first client. It also was after Lyles filed the founding documents of his company. That places him under the jurisdiction of the NCAA as an active recruiting service provider. Regardless of his intentions, his relationship with both Oregon and Seastrunk could be a major violation of at least one – and possibly multiple – NCAA regulations.
Lyles’ engagement of both Oregon and Seastrunk in a manner that facilitated the Ducks securing the prep star’s letter of intent could classify Lyles as a representative of the school’s athletics interests.
Lyles’ advisement in Seastrunk’s letter of intent process – along with Gibson’s involvement with Lyles’ actions – could be a major point of interest for NCAA investigators.
Lyles said he spoke again to Kelly in late January to discuss Oregon purchasing Complete Scouting Service’s national package. When trying to determine a fee, Lyles said Kelly provided a suggestion.
“He told me to go out and find out what the best paying service is,” Lyles said. “And he said he was going to have Josh Gibson look into it. But Josh never really looked in to it; but I did.”
Lyles said he began calling around to other scouting services, posing as a coach from Texas Southern (where he had attended but not graduated) who was interested in purchasing a national service. The highest fee he found was from Illinois-based LRS Sports that would cost “about $25,000.”
Lyles said he spoke to both Gibson and Kelly about the $25,000 fee and both approved.

"This is one of multiple hand-written notes Lyles said he received from members of the Oregon Ducks football staff following his Oct. 31, 2009 recruiting visit to Eugene. Lyles organized and attended that visit with recruits Dontae Williams, Trovon Reed and Matt Sherrard."

"This is another of hand-written notes Lyles said he received from members of the Oregon Ducks football staff following his Oct. 31, 2009 recruiting visit to Eugene. Lyles organized and attended that visit with recruits Dontae Williams, Trovon Reed and Matt Sherrard."

"In this email, Oregon Assistant Director of Football Operations Josh Gibson forwards Will Lyles instructions from Assistant Athletic Director of Compliance Bill Clever, detailing the steps to have a grandparent become the signing guardian on a letter of intent. According to Lyles, this email was in response to his efforts to help star recruit Lache Seastrunk empower his grandmother to be his signing guardian, rather than his mother. Lyles said it was this change that paved the way for Seastrunk’s commitment to the Ducks."

J Rose

J Rose

Are you in a healthy relationship? If not, what's missing?

Federal Budget: Should the Military Budget and Defense Spending be Cut?

NFL Players vs NFL Owners, WhosRight?

Will there be an NFL lockout?

Did the Oregon Ducks Cheat?

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